No Question, I Love Exclamation Points... Period!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A few weeks ago I read an article titled, “If You Want People to Take You Seriously, Enough with the Exclamation Points.” As an ardent user of this featured punctuation mark, I was certainly intrigued and took a break from my first Mavericks game to read what I was sure to be a compelling commentary.

The brief article insinuated that using this form of punctuation was unprofessional – and honestly, the blog made me think that maybe I do overuse the exclamation mark. Maybe its use IS amateurish; maybe using it does convey that I’m unprofessional; maybe the perception is that I don’t meet the expectations society has established for someone to succeed in corporate America.

But periods are so boring, so expected, so standard. And really I love exclamations and the message they convey. They represent passion, energy, excitement, and fun – everything I aspire to embody as a person; could using them really jeopardize my image at work?

As my overly-analytical mind kicked into overdrive, I found myself reliving the personal and professional journey I’ve taken over the past decade and was reminded of a valuable lesson I’ve learned...

Freshman year of college I was known for four things: my intense passion for the Texas Rangers (and, don’t judge, my subsequent schoolgirl crush on their new shortstop, Alex Rodriguez) my infamous “shake and snort” (I would laugh so hard my whole body would shake as I snorted; also embarrassing- why do I share so freely?!?), my East Texas accent, and my hugs- I never met a single person I didn’t feel compelled to squeeze!

Although I knew I possessed all of these traits, I never realized how, well, strange, they were until I went to Baylor. It wasn’t long before I realized that things that had always been second nature were considered nuances to the outside world. My new-found friends were instrumental in helping me grasp this realization as they were extremely quick to point out my quirks.

One friend in particular put a positive spin on my oddities by writing a beautiful poem for me in which he addressed the things he loved most about having me as a friend – this is the guy who coined the phrase “shake and snort.” The poem made me feel a lot less bizarre and a lot more special… appreciated. I was so sincerely thankful to have friends who loved me not DEPSITE my oddities, but BECAUSE of the things that made me who I was.

Then, though, something started to happen… I started “growing up.” A friend once told me that we teach others how to treat us and as I grew older and graduation approached, I started to seek success. As I did, I realized that in order to be perceived as successful, I’d have to act the part- fake it ‘til you make it, right? Suddenly things that were second nature like a “shake and snort” seemed immature, juvenile; people perceive those with East Texas accents as uneducated (slow in speech, slow of mind); hugging was WAY too often misconstrued as being flirtatious, something I never wanted to convey, especially in the business world.

So, instead of embracing who I was, I changed.  I lost my accent and in turn lost my voice.  I lost my shake and snort and in doing so lost a lot of opportunities to laugh.  I lost my eagerness to hug both my dearest friends and perfect strangers and in doing so lost my innate desire to make others feel special.  I lost the things I thought I needed to change and in doing so lost myself.

For years I felt so torn- both wanting to embrace Amanda as an adult, but not wanting to lose the childlike qualities I’d been able to hang on to much longer than most of my peers.

Fortunately my last job introduced me to some of the most fun-loving, accepting people I know, including my husband. Their love and support were instrumental in helping me feel more secure with who I am.

And though I was definitely much more “me” I still continued to struggle with who I was and who I wanted to be. This was never more apparent than the beginning of last year when I started my job with Wrigley.

At the beginning of my tenure with the world’s leading gum company I found myself struggling both personally and professionally. I had been a stay-at-home mom for nine months and was again struggling to figure out who I was and what I wanted. I love my children more than anything, but desperately missed the working world; I wanted to have the challenge and competition of working in corporate America, but didn’t want to lose my identity as a mom. The constant friction between the two coupled with my inability to reconcile the two sides of my personality was really starting to wear on me. Then again, another turning point arose.

It was September of 2011 and I was in serious need of a mom-cation. Again, I love my kids more than life itself, but Jeff’s long work hours, me trying to reach my Wrigley goals, and trying to balance being a wonderful mom was really wearing me down. Fortunately, we had our National Sales Meeting (NSM) and I was seriously counting the days to have a little break from my normal routine.

The drive to San Antonio seemed like a quick one. I wouldn’t be shocked to find that I broke every speed limit along the way – I was just so ridiculously excited to see all of my coworkers. And though I knew it would be great to see my colleagues, something happened that I hadn’t anticipated. It all started with my friend Jim.

Jim and I had texted back and forth the whole day, trying to figure out when the other would arrive. Once I received the text that he was in the lobby, I practically sprinted to the elevator. When I saw him, without thinking, I just threw my arms around him like we were the very best of friends. I could tell that I took good ole Jimbo off-guard, and because I certainly didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable, I started to apologize. Before I could utter an apology, though, I stopped myself. I didn’t want to say I was sorry for doing something that is very much me. I didn’t want to hold back because society says it’s unprofessional or unacceptable to do something that I feel is completely innocent.

What did I do next? I hugged everyone I knew, teammates, coworkers from other regions, friends I'd made at orientation.... And while I think it may have come as a surprise to most every one of them, I can honestly say that they each hugged me back – some even initiated the hug as we said our good-byes at the end of the week. I have never felt more confident, more valued, or more accepted than I did during that four day trip to San Antonio. 

So while it’s true that yes, we teach others how to treat us, it is also true that sometimes we need a little help, a friendly reminder, on how we should expect to be treated. My Wrigley friends have been amazing in this respect and have helped me feel like I have value and have given me the confidence to accept who I am. 
 

A short eight months after NSM in San Antonio I was given a wonderful opportunity to apply and interview for a promotion within the company, and for one of the first times in my life, I was truly speechless. I was so completely humbled to have the chance to prove myself on a professional level, but was also so thankful for people who encouraged me and believed in me when I hadn’t known how to do that for myself.

I had a lot of help during the interview process and was constantly given the same advice: “just be yourself.” Not once did anyone ever say “be a subdued, more professional version of you.” Something about that conversation really registered with me and I realized how much more gratifying the event - be it earning a promotion, making a new friend, or gaining a certain reputation - when it happens because of who you really are, not who you pretend to be.        


                                                                                        

Because of my extremely supportive and loving family, support and encouragement of my coworkers, and an AMAZING manager, I was able to feel fully confident for my interview and twelve days after my in-person meeting, I learned that the advice had paid off.

As I pack and prep for our family’s transition to New York, I often find myself wondering how my new team will feel about me and whether or not they’ll embrace me as their new manager. I even overanalyze how my team will interpret the tone of my emails. In the midst of my analysis, I pause to remember that I wouldn’t have this awesome opportunity had I not learned to stop trying so darn hard to be someone I wasn’t and to just act natural, for better or worse.

There’s no doubt that I’ll have moments of self doubt where I’ll struggle with confidence or identity, whatever you want to call it, throughout different periods in my life, but I hope I never stop having fun (even in professional settings), never stop laughing (even if I snort), never shy away from hugging, trusting, and loving people (even if they give me every reason to stop), and never, ever, hesitate to use or live like an exclamation point… period.