The Bigger They Are...

Think about the last mistake you made.  Remember the guilt you felt in knowing that you not only let yourself down, but potentially hurt your family and friends as well.  Now imagine going to bed with the understanding that over the next few hours, days, weeks, and maybe even months, your mistake will become public – thousands of people will post their “expert” analysis of your situation on Twitter and Facebook, people will perform Google searches with your name, in hopes of catching a glimpse of a picture or video of your temporary lapse in judgment, and news tickers will stream with details, both factual and assumed, of your transgression.   You didn’t murder, you didn’t lie, cheat, or steal… all you did was have a drink.  This is the reality for 2010 AL MVP, Christian, role model, and my favorite Texas Ranger, Josh Hamilton.

Anyone who follows sports, or at the very least has picked up a paper or turned on a television over the past two days knows that Hamilton, a recovering alcoholic and former drug-user, relapsed on Monday night when he had a few drinks at a restaurant and, later, at a local Dallas bar. 

I was in the kitchen making dinner on Thursday night when Jeff told me the news.  At the time, there were no details, just a headline on ESPN.com saying that Josh Hamilton had relapsed.   My heart sank.  My thoughts didn’t turn to what this means for his contract or his future with the Rangers, my mind immediately thought about how difficult this must be for him – knowing that he messed up, knowing that he has negatively impacted his wife, Katie, their children, and all of those who care about him most, and knowing that some very misguided people will unjustly question the validity of his Christianity.

I hurt for him.  And though I am a huge fan of Josh Hamilton the baseball player, I am a much bigger fan of Josh Hamilton, the man.

Within a few weeks of us moving to Texas in the spring of 2010, Jeff and I went to a Rangers game and I optimistically waited by the Rangers dugout, hoping to have the opportunity to get an autograph from the 6’4 outfielder.  Sure enough, after waiting in the Texas heat (made even hotter by the fact that I was 7 months pregnant), Hamilton walked over and started signing hats, bats, and anything else put in front of him.  In an effort to sign as many items as he could, Josh never looked up; he simply raised his arm, open-handed, and took whatever was placed in his palm.  When it was my turn, I placed a miniature Rangers bat in his hand.  I gushed, feeling more like a 5-year-old boy than a 27-year-old mother of one with one on the way, and told him that I had read his book and was sincerely inspired by his story.  With Sharpie in one hand and the bat in the other, he paused.  He looked up for the first time, smiled, gave a nod, and proceeded to sign the bat I had purchased as a souvenir for Jake.  I thanked him and as I walked away I looked down to see that he had not only signed his name, he had also written “Psalm 62: 5, 6, 7.” These verses read as follows: 

  

⁵ Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
   my hope comes from Him.
⁶ Truly He is my rock and my salvation;
   He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
⁷ My salvation and my honor depend on God, He is my mighty rock, my refuge.

 Had I not already been a huge fan, that alone would have won me over;  instead, the gesture confirmed my unwavering love for #32. 

More recently, just three weeks ago, Jake and I had the opportunity to participate in a question and answer session with Hamilton at the annual Texas Rangers Fan Fest.  I prefaced Jake’s question by thanking Josh for being such a great role model and explained that he is one of the few professional athletes who I want my little boys looking up to.  I also went on to say that Jake doesn’t always want to finish his dinner, but I warn that if he wants to grow up to be big and strong like Josh Hamilton, he has to eat everything on his plate.  Then, I handed the mic over to my son who asked the hard-hitting question, “Josh Hamilton, what is your favorite food?”  The 240-pound beast of man, dressed in black and wearing a large cross necklace almost fell off of his stool in laughter.  Once he gained his composure, Josh was able to think on his feet and help persuade my picky eater to choose healthy eating habits.  He mentioned green beans, salad, pork chops, and several other mommy-approved options and finished off his long list by saying that he drinks a lot of milk. 

So often we all look at Hamilton as an athlete with superstar status, a baseball god of sorts.  He’s a player that his peers and analysts alike have said comes along once in a generation… if that; a man with God-given talent who works hard on the field, but doesn’t have to.  The guy is just a natural.  In that moment at Fan Fest, though, he wasn’t an MVP, he was an average man, a father– a hero, not for making a seemingly impossible diving catch or hitting four home runs and having 7 RBIs against the Yankees to help take the Rangers to their first ever World Series, but for his efforts to persuade a little boy to eat the right things.

Jake couldn’t have been happier.  We had to make several calls that afternoon because he felt compelled to share his experience with our entire family.  How many people have the opportunity to talk to their hero?  It was truly an incredibly special moment for an incredibly special little boy.  Hamilton solidified my stance that he is a strong role model for our children.

See, I think of Hamilton as the anti-Barkley (who doesn’t remember Charles’s infamous, “I am not a role model” campaign).   Josh has not only accepted, but embraced his role model status.  He understands that, as Luke 12:48 reminds us, “For everyone to whom much is given, of him shall much be required.” He uses every speaking engagement or interview as an opportunity to share the name of Christ with anyone willing to listen.  And since he is so open about his relationship with Jesus, we have higher expectations of him.  Think about it – can you imagine the ESPN ticker if they listed EVERY professional athlete who had a beer on Monday night?  We’d quickly lose interest watching the hundreds of names go by.  If he wasn’t a Christian, no one would care – including Satan.  I strongly believe that Satan attacks those who are put into influential roles in hopes of tearing them down and, in doing so, jeopardizing their ability to bring people to Christ.  His openness about his dark past and optimism for a bright future because of his relationship with Jesus makes Josh an easy target.

And though I’ve never personally dealt with addiction, I’ve seen it touch, consume, and destroy the lives of people I know.  Having witnessed this I know that Josh understands what those who don’t struggle with addiction can’t completely grasp – recovery is a lifelong process.  Addicts have to choose daily, often multiply times a day, to say no to the vice that is controlling their life.  People who battle addiction accept that you are only ever a “recovering” addict, you are never truly cured.

I should probably be clear that I’m not condoning what happened.  Josh is in a position (fair or not) where he has to be more cautious about how he acts and the decisions he makes.  What I am saying is that because he’s one of the greatest baseball players the game has ever seen, and because he so openly professes his belief in Christ, we put him on a pedestal.  His God-gifted talent and God-given platform to share his beliefs make him seem larger than life, and as we all know, the bigger they are, the harder they fall.  So instead of casting stones and passing judgment, I think we should embrace Hamilton for what he is – an imperfect Christian who has made and will continue to make mistakes.  He is flawed, but he is also forgiven.  Most of all, I hope we can all use this as a sobering reminder that heroes are human too.    

We love you, Josh, and I still whole-heartedly believe that you are a very worthy role model for my little boys.  Prayers sent your way!